Dino kid.

Disclaimer: This is an open letter to my son. I write it with confidence that he won't actually see it until he's in junior high or older and no longer so impressionable. I know it's wrong to try to influence your child's interests, to push them in a direction they wouldn't otherwise go. And I will, of course, support any interests he has and welcome all the stupid facts that he'll undoubtedly spout about them. (Isn't that what all boys do? Learn a fact, try really hard to remember it until someone else is around, and then recite it as if they are all-knowing about a topic? I mean, that's what SportsCenter is for, right? To provide guys with a fountain of lame, unimportant stats that they can then pull out at a Bdubs sometime and impress everyone around them that they know that John Doe has hit 29 foul balls on the 3rd base side in the 7th inning while the sun was shining & a left-hander was pitching.) All that being said, since I don't plan to show this to him until he's too old to be into any of this anymore, I feel safe in putting it here. And I also feel safe using, um, passionate language for the very same reason. (He'll ride the bus, so I'm certain he'll hear anything I'd say - plus the new inappropriate words that are around by then - by junior high.) So, yeah, here goes.


My Joseph Boy,

Oh baby boy, you are the greatest! You're so much fun to play with now. You're certainly starting to develop your own little interests, which is just the cutest thing to watch. And which is also why I felt like it was time to write you this note. You see, Mommy has a request, something I hope we'll both agree is reasonable. Here it is:

Please don't be a dinosaur kid.

If you love me at all, please, for the love of Michael Buble, steer clear of anything prehistoric. I'm not kidding about this. This is my biggest fear as the mother of a boy and one of the first few thoughts I had when they told me you were a boy at birth. "Holy crap, I can't believe I actually had a boy! He's so precious...and giant! Look how happy the husband is to have his boy! God, I hope he isn't a dinosaur kid...." Seriously. I have nightmares about stepping on plastic dinosaur figurines and having to learn all the ridiculous dinosaur names and having to go to the history side of the history museum instead of just the IMAX. Speaking of the names, can we talk about how fast & loose they are with the use of consonants in dinosaur names? Pterodactyl with its silent P? C'mon now, that's just silly.

And don't get me started on people that spend their entire lives digging for dinosaurs. The only reason anyone knows what paleontologists are is because of Ross Gellar. And no one born after 1993 will have any idea who he is (unless TBS continues to play Friends reruns until eternity...*fingers crossed*). And even though he got Jennifer Aniston in the end, I promise there are a boatload of paleontologists out there that didn't...just sayin'.

Here's my beef with dinosaurs: I don't believe in 'em. They might as well be ghosts. Sure, they've found "bones" they believe prove their existence, but I'm not buying it. And thankfully, I won't ever have to be the one to help you and Brooke with any dinosaur-related schoolwork in the future b/c that's one of Daddy's subjects (He took Math & Science, I took Religion & Sex. I definitely got the better end of the deal. And, yep, that means you'll be getting your Birds & Bees talk from your mother. Sorry, friend.) I just think the whole dinosaur thing is all pretty flippin' stupid. (Well, except for Rex from Toy Story - his nervousness is adorable. And I'm okay with the occasional article of clothing with a cartoon dinosaur on it, because hey, it's not an animal!)

And while we're at it, stay away from Space, too. We don't live out in the open air so you're bound to be disappointed when you can't see the constellations you're looking for because we can only see stars, like, 13 out of 365 nights a year. Also, telescopes are expensive. Plus, I just can't get behind a "science" that can't decide if we have 8 or 9 planets.

So, are you confused as to what subjects would be appropriate for you to become obsessed with? Here's a short list of some of my preferred interests for you:

1. Legos
2. Sports
3. Transportation (except Thomas the Tank Engine, b/c that shit is hard to watch.)
4. Game Shows (Yes, I actually knew a little kid that was obsessed with game shows. Hilarious.)

If you could just stick with one of these, I'd be forever grateful. If you wish to veer from this list, I'd appreciate you come talk it out with me first. And if you really, really, really just can't live without dinosaurs....sigh....I'll learn to live with it. That's love, my son. True love.

Kisses!
Mommy

p.s. Pick Legos. I mean, pick whatever makes you happy. But strongly consider Legos.

Three quarters!

Dear Joe,

Hey buddy! You are Mr. Adventure these days! When we put you down, it isn't 2 seconds before you take off to go exploring. You will climb up/into/on top of anything you encounter (and often things you shouldn't!) You're still letting go of things & standing on your own for up to about 30 seconds. And you've even taken a step or two here and there! You are just so active, so full of life! You have tons of new tricks this month, like showing us that you're "sooo big" and giving high fives. You also wave when prompted, but only with your right arm. All that moving around has kept your growth right on track, though still way at the top of the curve for your age. You're wearing a mix of 9 & 12 month clothes and size 4 diapers. You're still napping twice a day, and we are sure that morning nap will stick around for a while - you wear yourself out with all the climbing! Here's what you've been loving (and not loving) this month:

Favorites
Playing ball - Balls are your most, most favorite form of entertainment. Whether you're tossing a ball back and forth with someone or just chasing one around the house, you are a happy little sports enthusiast. And you're pretty good at throwing, too, even one-handed!
Table Food - You're singing a different tune this month when it comes to table food. You will eat anything we put in front of you! Your high chair is filled with new foods to try all the time. Some of your favorites include mandarin oranges, chicken, graham crackers, and pasta. Unfortunately, you had your first allergic reaction to something you ate this month, so we'll have to be very careful about what new foods we introduce before your appointment with the allergist.
Walking - You love to walk around! Even though you have taken a handful of wobbly steps, most of your walking has been assisted. You like to move about holding our hands, taking big wide steps. You also adore being able to walk behind a toy while you push it. We think this next month will be when you officially start walking unassisted.
Itsy Bitsy Spider - This has been your favorite song for a while. If anyone starts singing it around you, you instantly bring your hands together to make your "spider", then lift them in the air for the "out comes the sun" part, then start clapping for yourself. You're usually a step or two ahead of the song, but you don't seem to mind :)
Daddy - You and Daddy are just the best little buddies. You get soooo excited when he gets home from work and get pretty upset if he doesn't give you some attention right away. And to make matters even sweeter, you learned how to say "Dada" this month, a sound that makes your Daddy grin from ear to ear.

Not-so-favorites
Yelling - You really don't like when we raise our voices. Most often we are reprimanding your sister, but now that you are so mobile, we frequently find ourselves telling you not to do something (most often it's "Get off the fireplace, Joe" or "Out of the bathroom, buddy"). You're not even a fan of playful yelling!
Diaper changes - Nothing has changed here. You still hate diaper changes, wiggling and fighting as best you can to escape before we're finished.
Anything-but-warm bottles - We have helped you develop a bad habit: you'll only take your bottles warm. Since breast milk is warm, we started giving you warm formula so you'd get used to it. But now, you're very high maintenance about it! Not room temperature, definitely not cold, it must be warm!
Sun protection - Sunscreen, hats, & sunglasses - all the things we need you to wear to keep you protected from the sun. And you hate all of them! Lathering you up with the sunscreen is quite a challenge, as you squirm and whine the whole time (and your very sensitive skin doesn't like it either - it's been the cause of a lot of eczema lately!) Hats and sunglasses get removed by you immediately after we put them on. The only luck we have is when the hat ties on or we put it on backwards.

You are such a fun little goofball. You make us laugh multiple times an hour! You're a bit of a mimic; you try really hard to make motions and sounds just like us big people. For example, when Mommy reaches way up high to stretch, so do you. And when she wants you to be quiet, you try to make the "shhh" sound, too. And being the genius you are, we're sure it won't be long before we see you talking with your hands like Mommy, rolling your eyes like Daddy, or copying your sister's killer dance moves.

You're growing so fast and we're doing our best to keep up with you! Love you to bits, baby boy!

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Life on film.

Boy are you in for a treat! I've got quite a few gems for you today.

1. Sometimes we play ball.

Don't you just want to eat him up? This little kiddo ADORES playing ball. And he's pretty darn good at it for his age, I'd say. This bodes well for his future as a basketball stud.

2. Sometimes a cowgirl just hiccups.

In case you haven't see this episode of Bubble Guppies (though I can't for the life of me imagine why not...it's quality programming,) these are the actual lyrics; I won't try to interpret her version of it.  This song is a fan favorite around here.

I wanna be a cowgirl

Just ridin' on a horse,

Sitting tall in my saddle

With my cowgirl boots on, of course!

And I'll be ropin' lots of cattle

With the lasso in my hand

Yeah I wanna be a cowgirl

'Cause it's the coolest job in the land.

3. Sometimes we walk on Memorial Day.

Remember how my kids are giant and therefore freakishly strong and therefore just go ahead and do ridiculous things like start to walk at not-even-9-months-old? Right. Homeboy is cruising like a fool, pushing toys across the room, and taking baby steps here and there. While I won't count any of them as his official first steps, we're thisclose to legit walking. Can. Not. Handle. That.

4. Sometimes we channel our inner boy band.

The NSync Pandora channel is, without a doubt, the best one I've come across. Check it out, kids; it'll change your life. And despite evidence to the contrary, my kids do own pants. Joe squirms a ton during diaper changes and Brooke is potty training, so bare legs are a frequent sighting at our house.

5. Sometimes we shake that.

Are you overwhelmed by her insane dancing? And, by insane, I obviously mean fantastic. The part where she shakes her booty? Um, dying over here. She's shufflin', you guys. Oh & also, that's the Chipmunks version of that song. Totally makes it kid-friendly.

Stay cool!

It's gonna be a scorcher of a holiday weekend, so I thought these pics of Joe might help cool you down.

(Ok, well the pictures themselves will have no effect on your body temperature. But they might encourage you to go grab yourself a popsicle, so you can thank Joe for the cool down that it brings. And if you're single/childless/male, the mess on his face & the high chair might give you a mini panic attack and encourage you to go grab yourself a beer, in which case you can also thank Joe for the cool down that that brings.)

"I'm not sure what you're putting in my mouth, but I won't complain because I want everything to be in my mouth at all times."

 "Hold the phone! That thing is craaaazy cold, woman."

 "Do I like this? Do I hate this? I can't decide."

 "It's official: I like it!"

Stay cool this weekend, friends!

Another year.

We doubled the number of kids we had.
We survived a family vacation with an infant and a toddler.
We had only one visit from the fire department and made zero trips to the emergency room.
We discovered the joy that can come from a bottle of Riesling.
We weathered teething & potty training & oh so many trips to time out.
Together.

Of the 9 years we've been together and the 4 we've been married, this one has been our very best yet.

Happy Anniversary.
Love you.

An end.

Tomorrow morning, I will nurse my baby boy for the last time.

It's one of the most bittersweet parts of motherhood, I think. To me, it means the end of his infancy. He's no longer a tiny baby boy; rather, he's grown into this little guy with a personality. He doesn't need his mama to provide for him in that very special way anymore. I sorta feel like this is my way of letting him grow up.

Why are we stopping? Well...it's just time. For both of us. But mostly me, which is why I'm riddled with guilt over it. With Brooke, weaning was a fast process, brought on by some new teeth that were just wreaking havoc on my body. And it was painful for both of us; she hated/refused bottles and I had to endure the unfortunate experience of going cold turkey and waiting for my body to realize it wasn't a milk factory anymore. And it definitely wasn't the way or the time I wanted it to end. This time, weaning has gone exactly as planned and on my schedule. It's been a very slow process, dropping one feeding at a time for about 2 months now. Joe is completely used to and accepting of bottles and formula. So it should be relatively painless for both of us. Except for the guilt.

Why so much guilt? Well...I feel like I'm just giving up. There really isn't a great reason to stop. No, scratch that. There isn't a need to stop; I've got plenty of great (as trivial as they may be) reasons.

I won't be tied to a feeding schedule anymore. I'm no longer the only one that can feed him. I can be away from him longer than 3 or 4 hours without having to rush home to a starving baby. Essentially, I can start to get some more time to myself, which will lead to a much happier and healthy mama. And I'll get my body back. I'm beyond excited to wear real bras again and for my Girls to be one consistent size the whole day. And oh good heavens am I eager to not have to sleep in a bra anymore! (If any of my brothers still read this blog on occasion, you're welcome.)

Oh yeah, and the peanut butter and alcohol aren't bad consolation prizes either. You better believe I'll have more than my fair share of both this week. Especially the peanut butter. My diet has been 100% peanut-free since the day Joe was born just in case he has his sister's allergies. Not a single PB&J, one of my most most favorite foods, since September, you guys. I even had to live through Reese's Egg season watching everyone else around me devour those little delights without taking one little bite. That's love, Joe. (p.s. I have two packages of Reese's eggs waiting for me in the pantry with a "Husband, if you touch these I will stab you" sign on them as we speak.)

See? Plenty of good reasons. Not to mention the fact that I have no interest in being on the cover of Time anytime soon. (I had originally only hoped to go for 10 months, so I'm really just about 6 weeks shy of that goal.) I just have to get over this nagging feeling.

Besides, he really doesn't need me after all. He has moved on to new dairy sources.

Eight Months.

Dear Joe,

You are a movin' man these days, kiddo! You learned how to crawl this month and haven't turned back. You are all over the place now, and we just love to see how independent you're becoming! We can't turn our backs on you anymore, as you've even learned how to climb stairs! All that moving around must be contributing to your slow (read: no) growth this month. Mommy has started weaning you from nursing, but you're taking the formula bottles without any complaint. In addition, you're scarfing down 3 meals a day of baby food. You're also starting to get bits & pieces of table food, too. You've gotten really good at clapping and waving. One of the most exciting things to happen this month is you said your first word: Mama! "M" is the only consonant sound you've learned so far, and Mommy is just thrilled every time you say it! Here are a few of your favorite and not-so-favorite things in your 8th month:

Favorites
Standing - You are no longer satisfied viewing the world from the floor. You like to get up on those feet as often as you can, pulling yourself up on just about anything. And just recently you've started letting go of things and practicing your balance. In fact, you've made a little game out of letting go of our hands, standing on your own for several seconds, and then falling forward into our arms.
Snacks - You are such a little snacker. You love to sit in your high chair and have a snack. Your favorites include Cheerios, pretzel rods, and wagon wheels. When you're crawling around, you even snack on the food you've dropped on the floor (that's gross, buddy, you've got to stop doing that.)
Brooke's Toys - Your favorite room in the house is definitely the play room. Why? Because it is filled with things for you to get your hands on (and your mouth!) You especially love to mess with your sister's toys. Thankfully, she has enough toys that she doesn't mind. One of your favorites is her kitchen; you love to open and shut the door to her little fridge and oven over and over again.
Balls - To the delight of your Daddy, you LOVE playing with balls. You'll be a sportsman for sure! Big, little, hard, soft - you aren't picky. But you especially seem to love the giant bouncy balls we have.
Emptying things - You haven't met a basket you wouldn't empty. Nothing delights you more than finding a container or basket full of things you can pull out. And you do it methodically, choosing what you want and pulling things out one at a time.

Not-so-Favorites
Diaper Changes - You have become the biggest squirmer during diaper changes. It is such a battle to change you! Not even Mommy's iPhone is enough of a distraction to get you to lay still while being changed. All too often we see that cute bare bottom of yours in the air as you roll over and take off crawling before we can get the new diaper on.
Getting Dressed - Your squirminess is not limited to diaper changes. You do not like getting dressed one bit! Most of the time, before we can get your second leg in your pants, you've already kicked the first one out. You just do not like anything that involves sitting still!
Hard Surfaces - This one is pretty hilarious. You really don't like crawling on hard surfaces, like the tile or hardwood floor. Instead, you get up on your hands and toes and do the most adorable bear crawl. You're getting really fast moving that way, too. No more hurt knees for you!

You are the most cheerful little guy! Another one of your favorite things to do is to laugh. And it doesn't take much to get you to do it - you think so many things are hysterical, like your big sister's antics and playing ball with Daddy. You are so happy almost all of the time. So much so that when you're crabby, we know something's wrong. A third tooth pushed through this month, which we know must have been painful, as you were such a sad little man. But you powered through, and we got our super smiley baby boy back!

Thanks for being such a sweet little guy. Mommy loves her Joseph Boy and Daddy loves his Jose!

Love,
Mommy & Daddy