Battle Royale.

No one ever said that parenting was easy.

And, trust me, we didn't enter into this gig lightly. We didn't really know what we were in for when we decided to have baby #1, just that it would be hard and rewarding all at the same time. I had spent my fair share around babies since I was very young, babysitting for lots of munchkins since I was, like, 12. And both the husband and I watched (and sometimes helped) as our 2 oldest nieces were raised from infancy to toddlerhood. While I think he was a bit apprehensive as we brought our squishy little baby home, he quickly learned what I already knew: that we could handle this.

And it has been, from the very beginning, both hard and rewarding. Not a day has gone by that I haven't stopped for a split second and thought to myself "I have no idea what I'm doing with this kid." But then I got over myself and realized that I actually do.

Until now. We have entered what I consider to be the most challenging stage we've met thus far as parents. No joke. I asked the husband the other night which stage he thought was hardest; he went with the 2nd-3rd months, when she was more alert but harder to keep happy. I think he was a tad surprised when I told him my answer. I feel very overwhelmed by this stage.

I guess an explanation is in order. I've said it before, but I feel like our 14-month-old has already entered the Terrible Two's. She is defiant, testing boundaries all the time. I feel like everything is a battle. The other day, we "fought" over which coat she would wear. So not kidding. She really wanted to wear a thin fleece, but Mean Mommy thought it was too cold for that. Oh, the struggle! Like, literally, a physical struggle as I tried to pull the fleece out of her hands and put the puffy winter coat on her wiggly, angry body. I really do try to pick my battles, but when it comes to safety & her well-being, Mommy has to be the winner. She knows what she can/can't get into at our house (cabinets, drawers, etc.), but that doesn't stop her from doing it anyway, with a very naughty grin on her face. She's even bold enough to look at us just before she does it, smile as we say "Don't do it, Brooke" and then carry on with her mischief while laughing. The word "no" has very little effect on her, nor does the use of her middle name (I really need to stop calling her "Brooke Mary" during happy times so it has more effect when I'm trying to be stern...) It also doesn't help that she's very smart; we can't pull one over on her anymore. If she asks for juice and we give her water, she knows. And she calls us out on it, with a crinkled face and a whiny "Djoose!", like "Hello, this liquid is not fruity, folks!"

This is foreign territory for me. Babysitters aren't in charge of that much discipline, and they certainly aren't expected to set up the framework of boundaries & rules. What do you do when your toddler decides that she is in charge? I'm sure I'll figure it out. I'm sure this is the pregnancy talking, as I just don't have as much energy to fight right now. I'm also sure that this is what tons of first-time parents feel from the very beginning; I guess I should count my blessings that it has taken over a year for me to start feeling like a complete parenting dummy.

I can't leave this as a woe-is-me post, because while insanely challenging, this is also an incredibly rewarding time, too. Having a munchkin that can give hugs and sloppy kisses on demand, adorably says "A-mom!" as you enter her room in the morning, and blows kisses as you leave...well that's just awesome. She is a big-time Daddy's girl, but also loves to cuddle with her Mommy. And that's pretty much the greatest thing of all time.

Oh, hi belly.

Baby Reeder at 14w6d

See? Belly. Already. I compared this picture to those from my last pregnancy - yeah, this is about where I was around 20 weeks last time. I guess my 9 lb 9 oz baby really did stretch everything out.

Oh, and I'm 100% certain I'm feeling baby moving around in there now! Lots of tiny little punches (very low, right where baby should be at this time) in the last 48 hours. Hooray, baby!

15 weeks.

I'm finally all caught up with blog posts, so what you read from here on out will be real-time. However, it may seem like you've been reading the same stuff for weeks. That's because I'm still throwing up, still struggling with sleep, and still a whiny pregnant lady. I'm sick of being sick and tired of being tired. I'm so, so ready for 2nd trimester bliss. I love this babe and can't wait to meet him or her, but it would be a much easier wait if I started feeling better soon. Cross your fingers for me!

How far along?: 15 weeks, 0 days
Total weight gain/loss: I think I'm up 2 lbs over the past 2 weeks, putting me at +3 lbs total.
Maternity clothes?: Thankfully, I fit into all of my sister's maternity clothes this pregnancy, & her babies were born in the same season as this one will be. I've gotten by without buying anything...yet.
Sleep: Not horrendous, but not great. Down to roughly 2 bathroom breaks a night and currently only using my same 2 pillows.
Movement: Tentatively saying "maybe". There may have been some movement at the husband's basketball game today. I'll wait to see if I feel any more over the next few days before I officially think it was, in fact, Baby Reeder. (But if so, yay yay yay!!!)
Food cravings: My diet is such crap right now. Veggies are pretty much out and fruits are at a minimum. But Cheetos are in and I'm still on a Pop-tart-a-day regimen. Doctor says to eat what sounds good, so I am.
Gender: No feeling either way.
New w/pregnancy #2: I don't remember having daily headaches with #1. They are pretty brutal, coming and going throughout the day. It's surely sinus-related at times, but I know it's baby-related most of the time.
What I miss: Clear(er) skin. I haven't had truly clear skin since I was, oh, 10. But it's been especially bad lately. It's quite unfair to have to endure all the crap that comes with being pregnant, all the while looking like a 13-year-old in the middle of puberty.
What I am looking forward to: Full-time baby kicks.
Best moment this week: Brooke "found Mommy's baby" and then gave the "baby" a kiss. My heart melted right then and there.
Weekly Wisdom: Don't assume that morning sickness is over just because you have a solid sick-free week. Because it'll come back. With a vengeance.
Milestones: Baby is up to 2.5 oz and 4 inches (crown-to-rump), roughly the size of a large apple. No wonder I'm so big already (picture to come soon!)

2nd Trimester.

(This post was originally written on 2/27/2011, at 14w0d pregnant. This is the last of the old posts; everything will be up-to-date from here on out!)

How far along?: 14 weeks, 0 days
Total weight gain/loss: No idea. I lost the weight pretty quickly after Brooke, so I’m naively assuming I’ll follow the same pattern this time and, therefore, just am not obsessing about it.
Maternity clothes?: My pre-pregnancy jeans are no longer wearable, just super uncomfortable. So it’s either maternity jeans or sweat pants these days.
Sleep: The upper respiratory infection was in full swing this week, so sleep was at a minimum.
Movement: Not yet.
Food cravings: There’s some double chocolate chip Graeter’s in our freezer that has been beckoning me each night. I didn’t give in every night...but the pint is long gone.
Gender: I’d love to give Brooke a sister at some point, as my relationship with my sister is pretty awesome. Will it be baby #2?
New w/pregnancy #2: Lifting/carrying around 31 extra lbs all the time.
What I miss: Feeling good. It’s been a few months now. I feel like things are starting to turn around, though, so we’ll see...
What I am looking forward to: A slightly bigger belly. Because while I’m starting to show, I probably still just look fat to most people.
Best moment this week: I’m finally starting to get some of my energy back! Hooray!
Weekly Wisdom: Not very wise this week, sorry.
Milestones: We have sailed right into the 2nd Trimester, which is just crazy!! Are we really already at 14 weeks?

165.

(This post was originally written on 2/20/2011, at 13w0d pregnant.)

Heartbeat Day was fantastic. It took her a few minutes, but the nurse finally found that strong, little thump thump thump. 165 bpm. I immediately felt a wave of relief go over me. I had no real reason to believe we wouldn’t hear it, that it wouldn’t be there. Especially considering how craptastic I’ve still been feeling. But it didn’t matter; my own heartbeat was probably around 165 in unfounded fear. But when she finally found it, that most perfect noise allowed me to breathe again. I instantly fell in love. I am very confident that we will be a family of four by Labor Day :)

How far along?: 13 weeks, 0 days
Total weight gain/loss: -2 this week, +1 total. I spent all of Wednesday in bed and the weight just fell off all in one day.
Maternity clothes?: Oh hello, maternity jeans! Lovely to see you again!
Sleep: PROGRESS! I’m finally getting some sleep. But this nasty cold I seem to have developed in the last 24 hours is bound to squash that.
Movement: Of course not, but now that I know what to expect, will I feel it earlier this time? If so, this may be just a few weeks away :)
Food cravings: I’ve had a Pop-tart every day for the last week. Even Wednesday, the day nothing (else) sounded good. Unfrosted strawberry only. And no matter what my sister & husband think, the edges are the best part; I could totally forgo the filling.
Gender: If an easy pregnancy = girl, then this one is definitely a boy.
New w/pregnancy #2: I don’t remember having this many digestive issues. My stomach rumbles all day long. Bad enough that I even talked/whined to the doctor about it. She gave me a few things to try, but pretty much said I have to suck it up for a few more weeks.
What I miss: This week? Alcohol. I could’ve used a 6-pack of Bud Light this week.
What I am looking forward to: We have started spreading the news! I love doing it and I’m looking forward to continuing!
Best moment this week: Hearing that mighty heartbeat. 165 beats per minute.
Weekly Wisdom: When they say that you start showing earlier with each subsequent pregnancy, believe them. My oh my has my little fat belly popped out in the last few days. I went from “Man, she’s gained a little weight lately” to “Wait, could she be pregnant or has she just been eating a lot of Pop-tarts?” in a matter of 3 days. Good thing we’re telling people now or else I’d be wearing a lot of hooded sweatshirts this week.
Milestones: Heartbeat, news-spilling, bump-popping...it’s been a crazy-awesome week (with the exception of Wednesday, of course.)

Heartbeat Day!

(This post was originally written on 2/18/2011, at 12w5d pregnant.)

HAPPY HEARTBEAT FRIDAY! Not gonna lie, I’m a bit nervous, but mostly just big-time excited. Come on, baby, let Mommy (& Daddy) hear ya!!

Under 200.

(This post was originally written on 2/13/2011, at 12w0d pregnant.)

How far along?: 12 weeks, 0 days
Total weight gain/loss: No idea. Just not as concerned with it this time so I keep forgetting to check.
Maternity clothes?: Coming soon.
Sleep: Sigh. At least I’ve figured out how to nap again.
Movement: Um, no.
Food cravings: The food aversions are kicking in. And, unfortunately, they are coming in the form of fruits. But I am loving fruit juices and fruit snacks....do they count?
Gender: No feeling this week.
New w/pregnancy #2: Still getting sick all day long. And it sucks. So, so much.
What I miss: Turkey sandwiches.
What I am looking forward to: I’m renaming Friday this week as Heartbeat Friday! So excited to get that little piece of reassurance that will give me the confidence to start spreadin’ our good news.
Best moment this week: I dunno.
Weekly Wisdom: Half of a Pepsi can be both a life-saver and an enemy (yep, only half - caffeine is being limited.) The caffeine helps my headaches, the sugar keeps the nausea at bay, but the bubbles....they cause some issues.
Milestones: This babe is growing like a weed. Already 2 inches long and weighing half an ounce, according to “the books”. Of course, I am growing a Reeder baby, so I’m sure he’s already off the charts. Oh, and also, WE’RE UNDER 200 DAYS!!!