Bittersweet ending.

We are in love with these 2 kids we already have. They are the perfect mix of both of their parents: smart, sassy, hilarious, stubborn. The conversations we have with them are mind-blowing. On top of all of it, they're becoming more and more independent every day. They can clear their own spot at the dinner table, take up their laundry & put it away, get their own shoes/pajamas/etc. The independence is amazing!

So when the topic of a 3rd baby came up, we had almost a full year of discussions and debates about whether or not our family was already "complete". After all, we were in a groove with the kids and getting to a point where they needed us for much less. We are happy as a family of 4 & could easily have stayed that way.

People have joked with me/implied that this wasn't planned, as if no one would actually choose to have more than 2 kids, especially since we already have a boy & a girl. We didn't enter into this 3rd pregnancy lightly. This child was very much prayed for, wanted, and planned. We decided it was the best decision for our family and crossed our fingers that we'd be blessed with another sweet little one. Our prayers were answered, and in just a few short days, that little one will become the 5th member of our family. While I can't guarantee anything, I'm pretty sure this child will finally "complete" us.

That being said, I'm fairly confident that these are the last few days I will ever be pregnant. Though I'm definitely wishing away every minute I have left (PLEASE COME OUT SOON, BABY!), this thought is not lost on me. These are the last kicks I will feel, the last moments I'll have feeling a child roll around inside my belly, the last nights I'll lie awake wondering what my child is going to be like. There are so many things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss resting my hand on my belly. It's a completely natural thing, something I don't even realize I'm doing most of the time. It's like my way of protecting my child before he's here.
I'm going to miss the outpouring of positive attention that comes with pregnancy. A pregnant belly is one of the few things that garners constant smiles from strangers.
I'm going to miss Expectant Mother parking spots.
I'm going to miss guilt-free eating.
I'm going to miss feeling the baby hiccupping. That's a complete lie; I will most definitely NOT miss that. (Weirdest feeling ever.)
I'm going to miss using my belly as a shelf. Seriously. It holds a bowl of ice cream so your hands don't get cold. It's the perfect place to rest my hand while I paint my nails. Last week, it held my phone to keep Joe entertained while I held his hands during his breathing treatments. It's an incredibly handy thing.
I'm going to miss the excitement and anticipation of expecting a new child. There really is no feeling like it.

Even though I'm incredibly uncomfortable and really, really ready to be done, I know that my pregnant days are numbered. And it's bittersweet. I've been blessed with this three times and I'll be forever grateful.