Battle Royale.

No one ever said that parenting was easy.

And, trust me, we didn't enter into this gig lightly. We didn't really know what we were in for when we decided to have baby #1, just that it would be hard and rewarding all at the same time. I had spent my fair share around babies since I was very young, babysitting for lots of munchkins since I was, like, 12. And both the husband and I watched (and sometimes helped) as our 2 oldest nieces were raised from infancy to toddlerhood. While I think he was a bit apprehensive as we brought our squishy little baby home, he quickly learned what I already knew: that we could handle this.

And it has been, from the very beginning, both hard and rewarding. Not a day has gone by that I haven't stopped for a split second and thought to myself "I have no idea what I'm doing with this kid." But then I got over myself and realized that I actually do.

Until now. We have entered what I consider to be the most challenging stage we've met thus far as parents. No joke. I asked the husband the other night which stage he thought was hardest; he went with the 2nd-3rd months, when she was more alert but harder to keep happy. I think he was a tad surprised when I told him my answer. I feel very overwhelmed by this stage.

I guess an explanation is in order. I've said it before, but I feel like our 14-month-old has already entered the Terrible Two's. She is defiant, testing boundaries all the time. I feel like everything is a battle. The other day, we "fought" over which coat she would wear. So not kidding. She really wanted to wear a thin fleece, but Mean Mommy thought it was too cold for that. Oh, the struggle! Like, literally, a physical struggle as I tried to pull the fleece out of her hands and put the puffy winter coat on her wiggly, angry body. I really do try to pick my battles, but when it comes to safety & her well-being, Mommy has to be the winner. She knows what she can/can't get into at our house (cabinets, drawers, etc.), but that doesn't stop her from doing it anyway, with a very naughty grin on her face. She's even bold enough to look at us just before she does it, smile as we say "Don't do it, Brooke" and then carry on with her mischief while laughing. The word "no" has very little effect on her, nor does the use of her middle name (I really need to stop calling her "Brooke Mary" during happy times so it has more effect when I'm trying to be stern...) It also doesn't help that she's very smart; we can't pull one over on her anymore. If she asks for juice and we give her water, she knows. And she calls us out on it, with a crinkled face and a whiny "Djoose!", like "Hello, this liquid is not fruity, folks!"

This is foreign territory for me. Babysitters aren't in charge of that much discipline, and they certainly aren't expected to set up the framework of boundaries & rules. What do you do when your toddler decides that she is in charge? I'm sure I'll figure it out. I'm sure this is the pregnancy talking, as I just don't have as much energy to fight right now. I'm also sure that this is what tons of first-time parents feel from the very beginning; I guess I should count my blessings that it has taken over a year for me to start feeling like a complete parenting dummy.

I can't leave this as a woe-is-me post, because while insanely challenging, this is also an incredibly rewarding time, too. Having a munchkin that can give hugs and sloppy kisses on demand, adorably says "A-mom!" as you enter her room in the morning, and blows kisses as you leave...well that's just awesome. She is a big-time Daddy's girl, but also loves to cuddle with her Mommy. And that's pretty much the greatest thing of all time.