Tact.

Tact [takt]
–noun
1. Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.
2. Something all humans seems to lose when they are within 10 yards of a pregnant woman.

I swear this pregnant belly must have magical powers. It induces incredibly inappropriate comments from just about everyone, often in inappropriate situations (like on an elevator- talking on an elevator is never okay, especially at work.) My favorites recently:

a. "WOW, you look REALLY pregnant today." - Coworker
b. "Will you be offended if I call you a Weeble? 'Cause you're wobbling down the hall." - Coworker
c. "Have they checked your cervix yet? Any progress?" - Coworker
d. "You look like you're about to drop a bomb on us soon." - Random old man (And this was at 28 weeks.)

My responses:
a. "Um, thanks? Wait until you see me tomorrow."
b. "Yes." And then I glared at him.
c. "Haven't checked yet." And then I gave her a how-the-hell-is-that-any-of-your-business? look.
d. Awkward smile, but only because he was old and cute.

People, please learn to control your word vomit, because my level of tactfulness with my responses will only decrease as my due date approaches. Thanks.